Dealing With The Death Of A Loved One

Your cattle shall die; your kindred shall die; you yourself shall die; one thing I know which never dies: the judgement on each one dead.

Dealing with the death of a loved one is made easier through photos and memories of them. Dealing with the death of a loved one is difficult. Losing a family member is the last thing anybody wants to go through, and yet one of the only things we all have to. On the fourth of July, 2018, my grandfather died. It was sudden, unexpected, and exactly how he would’ve wanted it. At eighty-four years old, he was one of the most active men I knew. He went on long bike rides, worked in the garden, and went on hunting trips all over the world. He had only been back off a three week hunting trip a couple of days before he died! With him, went my naive imagining of limitless time. A sad fact of life is that it runs out. It was on this day, that I decided to change myself, and live the life I wish to live, before I no longer have a choice in the matter. This eulogy is the final gift to my grandfather, a send-off. Closure, if you will. More than that still, It’s the first piece of writing I created since deciding to get serious about my craft. I hope you enjoy it.

Some men are intellectual. They love to read and learn, can form educated opinions, and develop a taste for cultures of the world. They have a firm grasp of their finances, and pride themselves on being sensible and organised. They know that learning is not just reading, but doing, through failing or succeeding, and doing it again.

Some men are wise. They’ve read hundreds of tomes just like the intellectual, but they recognise that each page is filled with knowledge and power that only a select few could truly comprehend, unpacking the mysteries of the universe with each further word they consume. The words are never just the words, the pages never just pages. Each new piece of information is a universal metaphor, a lesson in ‘the way of things.’ One of the first lessons they learn in their pursuit of wisdom, is that while it’s good to be sensible like the intellectual, it’s also fun to be spontaneous, and that the wise man is always a fool, so relish in being foolish!

Some men are strong. They stay fit well into their final years, can swing an axe and cut wood like a man in his prime, and can hunt for his food. Even his demeanour is strong. He’s sometimes stern. He has a check on his emotions, and shows only what is necessary for the time. He has a cool head when his insides are burning with anger, and a smile when he wants to cry. The strong man can suffer in silence, for the sake of not complaining, for the sake of his reputation and legacy, and for the wellbeing of those around him.

Some are intellectual, some are wise, and others are strong. Rarely these three traits become refined in a single individual, but when they do, we all see that man as what he truly is, and was destined to be, by the Gods themselves: A King.

A King is not afraid of war, but favours peace. He does not rule through tyranny or fear, but through compassion and understanding. He’s a bargaining man; he’ll offer something in exchange for what he wants from you. He’s a leader of men, an inspiration, and an example himself. He is what he wishes you to be. He sees what he wishes you to see. And he spends each day becoming what he wishes you will become.

A king is compassionate, kind, wise, and strong. He is fair, though we sometimes may feel like he is not. A king’s wishes, his wants and his needs from you, serve a higher purpose. One of universal importance, of divine enlightenment. His outlook, his plans, and his insight, are Godly in their truth and wisdom. If we don’t look hard enough, we may miss the point. But under the comfort of full confidence and trust in his position, we know that somewhere in his request, is purpose.

Of this we can be sure, because a true king is never selfish in his needs.

When a man becomes king, he transcends the confines of an ordinary life. He leaves behind a trail of breadcrumbs for us to follow, a legacy that will guide us to the greatness he left behind. He leaves not only memories, but a message; a lesson. A blueprint that lays the foundation for further growth. For a king never dies, he lives on in those he leaves behind. It’s what he deserves, and it’s what he strived for in life.

A father’s job is to prepare his children for life when he’s gone. A king’s job is to prepare his kingdom for greatness in his honour. That is all we as the living can do to let the love we’ve lost, live on.

Robert Adolf Albert Bockmeyer-Cuntz was a king. He was the true head of his family. An intelligent, wise, and strong man. He was a hunter. A business man. A husband, father, and grandfather. He was everything a man should be and more. He was a man that confidence, wit, and charm, radiated from like an aura.

There was a sense of calm knowingness when you looked into his eyes, like a man that has the whole world figured out. Thoughtful. Watchful. Present. There was a plan for this, a plan for that, and a hundred other plans for what comes after.

Like a true king, he had the Gods whispering in his ear, guiding him and teaching him the universal lessons we all too quickly ignore. Now that he is gone, he is in a place where he can look down on the world, and watch from a perspective where he can gain more wisdom ‘in the way of things,’ just as a man of his wisdom deserves and longs for. He is where those that went before him can be with him. With Angels and Gods, ancestors and loved ones. He has achieved the ultimate achievement. His life of learning and strength and wisdom has proven his worth, and elevated him to a higher status. A place where he is no longer a person, but a force. A memory, a guiding light, an inspiration. A beacon to all of us that live on.

It is our job now to honour him in our lives. To take on board what he silently taught us throughout his years on earth. To pray for him, and to him, as he deserves. It is our divine responsibility, to let him live on through us. To accept him into our hearts and live in a way that would make him proud. To worship him, and our ancestors before him, in our actions.

His life was not the end of his journey, but the beginning of ours. One shining, standout example, in a long list of ancestors he did proud. All we can hope to do, is leave as strong a foundation for our kingdoms, as he did for his. He will be dearly missed and always remembered.

A king is never truly gone while his people survive him. What he achieves in life is never lost, but built upon, in the years that follow.

While this isn’t the typical tone of my musings, if you enjoyed this and would like to read some more of my personal writing, Please check out some of the following.


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