I Need To Wee… Quick Online Reads

I need to wee. I’ve needed to wee for ages. Each time I readjust my position, each time the bed bounces slightly beneath my weight, each time I so much as breath a little too heavy and fill my lungs enough to raise me from the bed, I feel it wanting to burst out.

I probably should go for a wee. But I won’t. Not because I’m comfy, because I’m not. I’m laying on my stomach propped up on my elbows, my neck craned upwards to stare at the tiny screen cupped between my hands. Not because I don’t desperately need to go, we’ve already established how conscious I am of the fact.

The truth is I won’t get up and go for a wee because I’m answering automated Facebook questions on my phone, and I’m having way too much fun. These brief moments of time—I say brief, but we all know how ten minutes easily becomes a couple hours—are bizarre, transcendent things. I find myself slipping into a trance-like state, where I’m as free as I’ll ever be, outside of myself somehow. Is it because I’m so deep into technology, bedazzled by the stuff, or because I’m so deep within myself?

Movement has ceased to nothing, thinking has become instantaneous, and all I am is reading and typing in almost perfect unison. There’s no second guessing or deliberating before the answer comes out. It springs to mind, and is simply a thing in an instant. It’s an instant thing from a mind in a moment. Maybe funny, maybe uplifting, maybe cringe-worthy. But definitely something, and definitely thoughtless. Well, maybe not thoughtless but, certainly not simulated or rehearsed. Not crafted by any means.

I still need a wee,

and I still haven’t been.

I’ve answered ten more questions,

or maybe fifteen.

What am I writing poetry now? What even is this? Those of sane mind would think I’m drinking, but I most certainly am not. Perhaps I’m being cleverly unclever, transparently mysterious? Perhaps I’m telling a retelling of a telling I told myself moments before I did in fact go for a wee. Perhaps I held my wee in so long it pushed me into some bizarre delirium.

or maybe, just maybe, the instantaneous freedoms found in answering questions on instinct, finding answers within myself, have blessed me with a temporary honesty. A brief flux in space and time where words and thought mesh, and the world is let into my mind.

When you think about it, and I mean really think about it, you don’t truly own or lay claim to anything other than your own mind. Your thoughts are all you have control over. Everything else is just everything else, which means only to be influenced, advised, or less, containing its own mind and randomness. Even your body has a mind if it’s own. Err… does that make two minds? Anyway, Isn’t that funny? And why does that fit here, in my story? It doesn’t. So let’s get back to it.

And what story was I even telling here?

Oh yeah! A wee. I still need a wee, but I haven’t been yet.

I’m gonna go do that now.


today’s quick online read was inspired by my evening’s events. While putting the kids to bed I relax in the next room and casually browse through social media. Tonight, I discovered the ‘answer a question’ feature in Facebook, and had a hell of a lot of fun just going through them and answering. The kids fell asleep long before my fun was over, and once I realised it was time to move, an hour had slipped by! And, you guessed it, I needed a wee.

Anyway, in the same fashion I went about my questions, I thought it’d be fun to write a stream of consciousness style flash fiction, that leaves you probably perplexed but hopefully amused, and perhaps even a little sympathetic to the character and his woes. It is easy to become so engrossed in our screens and the influences transmitted through them, that we lose ourselves for a while. Maybe it’s time to sit down and honestly answer a whole string of questions like I did tonight, and answer them instinctively, be they funny, cynical, serious, or depressing, if only just to free our minds from the constraints we place on them, and be free with who we are.

I hope you enjoyed tonight’s post. Until next time!

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About Gary Holdaway

A multi genre author of short stories and novels, writing a curious mix of quick online reads and lifestyle posts.

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